User:Real 2D
Biography
2D (A nickname derived from the fact that he has a dent in each eye socket, both caused by Murdoc while in his vehicle. ) Real name Stuart Pot, (last name often thought to be Tusspot, though his family changed their name to Pot shortly before Stu was born), also known as Stu-Pot. He was born and raised in Hertfordshire, England. His father, David worked as a mechanic and owner of the Tusspot's Fairground. His mother was a nurse who supplied Stu-pot with headache pills. He wasn't very intelligent due to two hits on the head as a baby, but was known as a kind person and had a general love of music. He hit his head again when falling from a tree at the age of eleven, which caused his hair to fall out. When it came back it was a deep 'Azure blue'. He was forced to move to Crawley, West Sussex, as a result of a lawsuit filed by Ivana Abramovitch for breaking Abramovitch's hand.
Stu-pot attended St. Wilfred's school where, despite his lack of intelligence and ambition, he got fairly good grades. For most of his life; Stu-pot didn't know what he wanted to do when he got older. He first wanted to become a stormchaser and then he wanted to paint. He developed an interest in machinery when he and his dad customized his Casio VL-1 keyboard.
The drama in his life began when Satanist hooligan Murdoc Niccals purposefully crashed his Vauxhall Astra through the wall of Uncle Norm's Organ Emporium, where Stu-Pot had been working, in an attempt to ramraid it and steal the synths. Murdoc's bumper crashed into Stu-Pot's face, landing him with an eight-ball fracture in his right eyeball, and putting him into a deep catatonic state. Murdoc was arrested and sentenced to carry out 30,000 hours of community service as well as care for the vegetablized Stu-Pot for 10 hours every week. (It was Later claimed by Murdoc, when he angrily split up the Gorillaz during their time in Hollywood, that if not for the subsequent discovery of 2D's Vocals, Murdoc would have killed him had they reached that point).
Not long after, in a poor attempt to impress some women, Murdoc performed a 360 in a Tesco car park in Nottingham with his vehicle. This sent Stu-Pot crashing through the windshield, hitting his head on the curb. He woke from his coma and also dented his left eye to match his right one, thus gaining him his trademark black, irisless eyes. It was then that Murdoc dubbed him "2D"; ironically enough, the origins of the name "2D", at least in the fictional background story of the Gorillaz, have nothing to do with the phrase "two-dimensional", but rather stands for the two dents in his head. Rather amusingly, Stu-Pot adores his new nickname, dropping use of his birth name completely and even signing formal letters with the first name "Two" and surname "D". Due to his history of violent blows to the head, coupled with a complete lack of natural intelligence, 2D has come out the other side possibly one of the stupidest celebrities in existence. Damon Albarn and Jamie Hewlett commented on this, saying that he has a sheet of paper where a brain should be.
Because of the so-called 'eight-ball fractures' in his eye sockets, 2D currently suffers from very intense migraine headaches. As a result, he is pretty much permanently doped up on painkillers. This doesn't help his pathetic intelligence either.
There is a generally accepted rumour that 2D is actually a father. An e-mail can be found on his computer at the Gorillaz website[1] regarding child-support for his apparent four or five illegitimate children, each conceived with a different woman. As the email quoted, "The spiky blue hair on these offspring is a dead giveaway." Additionally, an MTV Cribs special on Kong Studios said on their profile of 2D that he is rumored to have fathered "scores" of illegitimate children.
2D is ambidextrous although he prefers to use his left hand.
After the "El Mañana" conspiracy, 2D and Russel were frantic about Noodle's supposed death. It was a hoax, however, and the band has once again gone separate ways but not for long (so promised Murdoc in the autobiography Rise of the Ogre; their biggest project to date is apparently being planned) and the singer was, according to Murdoc, "poncing off somewhere. He's probably gonna try and become an actor or a model or whatever..."
Additionally, it is also debated whether or not 2D's nickname contains a hyphen or not. Though the video for 'Clint Eastwood' labels him as '2-D', some of the more recent media events have removed the hyphen from the name.
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